


Two Hearts, One Valve

by thehiddenmeadow



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Character Death, F/M, Fictober 2019, Manga Spoilers, SnK 105 spoilers, attack on titan season 4 spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-07
Updated: 2019-10-07
Packaged: 2020-11-26 14:48:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20931995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thehiddenmeadow/pseuds/thehiddenmeadow
Summary: Fictober 2019, Prompt 4“I know you didn’t ask for this.”





	Two Hearts, One Valve

**Author's Note:**

> Major manga spoilers. If you haven’t read through chapter 105, keep scrolling! (For you show watchers only, this is spoiling something that will happen in season 4)  
My inspiration for this fic was “Birds” by Imagine Dragons, and I put italicized lyrics throughout the fic. The title of this is actually the first line!  
But seriously... major spoilers ahead. You have been warned.

_ Seasons, they will change  _

_ Life will make you grow  _

_ Dreams will make you cry _

As the weather grew warmer with each passing day, Connie’s grief still remained. Sasha once loved the warm weather. She could go out hunting again once spring finally arrived after agonizing months of a cold and bitter winter. 

The two of them would play in the snow anyway, hitting each other with sloppily made snowballs that always came apart in midair. They would stop throwing them at each other when Jean would come up and try to stop them, because then they’d team up and start throwing snow at him instead. It was Connie’s way of making the most out of something she didn’t like. 

The warmer months were much nicer, though. It was when the squad would take periodic trips to the ocean and spend a day at the beach. 

Connie doesn’t remember much from those times. The only thing he can recall clearly is the warm water against his calves before Sasha pushing him into the ocean, her playful laughter still echoing through his mind. 

Memories of her had seeped their way into his dreams every night. But lately, they were shorter, the features in her face less detailed, her voice not quite right. It had been so long that he was starting to forget what she sounded like. 

Connie wanted nothing more than to prevent himself from forgetting her. 

_Everything is temporary _

_Everything will slide _

_Love will never die _

When the weather became warmer, Connie was able to visit her grave more often. This last winter had been harsher than it had ever been before, so many of his visits were cut short, or canceled altogether, due to the freezing temperatures and blistering winds. Jean was usually there to keep him company, pay his respects to Sasha, and make sure he didn’t freeze to death. 

But now that it was spring, Connie could pack a basket of food and bring it to her grave. He would have a nice little placement for her right in front of her tombstone, and he would sit a couple feet away, as if the two of them were having a picnic. 

If there weren’t any people around, he’d talk to her. And although he never got a response, he always knew exactly what she would say, so it felt like a conversation to him. 

It killed him to know that he’d eventually have to move on from this habit. He felt so lonely without her company, without his other half. 

He often wondered if there was some kind of afterlife where Sasha was eating happily across from him, laughing at the way he’d do everything. 

As the spring breeze blew through the new sprouting grass around her grave, he stopped and decided that this would be the last time he do this. 

He wanted to believe that Sasha was still out there somewhere, receiving his food, enjoying his visits, becoming sad when he left... but she wasn’t. Sasha was dead. 

He looked down at the bread in his hands, suddenly not hungry anymore. Tears began falling from his eyes onto his hand, so he put his food down and decided to talk to her one last time. 

“I know you didn’t ask for this,” he said. “You didn’t want to die like that... so suddenly, so randomly, so mercilessly. I didn’t either, you know. I expected us to live a long time, and talk about everything that happened as they became distant memories.” A sudden pressure in his throat caused him to stop and breathe in. He didn’t want to cry right now, not until he was finished. 

He took a few unsteady breaths before finishing his thought. “I just miss eating with my best friend.” 

Connie began crying more, but tried calming it by packing up the food he brought. This wasn’t healthy, he knew, but at least he understood why he did it. After all this time, he was still grief stricken, still unable to move on, even as the world did. 

He stood still, holding the basket beside him. “I’ll come visit you more, don’t worry about that,” he said, “but you’ll have to bring your own lunch.” He smiled at the stone bearing her name, and walked off. 

“I’ll see you later, Sasha,” he said as he made his way back home. 

_I know that birds fly in different directions _

_I hope to see you again. _


End file.
